To be in front of others 

Is to feel the pressure of the vacuum chamber closing in on me

Even with those I’m most fond, I hold back the dam until I get to my car

To be in front of others 

Is to hold my breath until I am light in the head 

To feel my chin quiver uncontrollably

My body is my temple 

My body is my prison 

Years of insecurity ripple to the surface 

I can’t hide the way that I used to 

To heal is to face the reality that I am fragile 

To honor my cracked exterior 

To be in front of others is to crumble and know that I will be okay.