I needed a man

I needed a man to tell me I was smart before it ever occured to me I needed a man to tell me I was attractive before I saw my reflection for the first time I needed a man to give me grace before I started forgiving myself I resent how much power I gave…

Aimlessly Living

Sometimes I feel like I am living aimlessly But when I take a step back I realize that I am just living These standards I hold don’t suit me anymore Since my mom died, I’ve been destroying these walls of the box I put myself into The box where I would sometimes make her happy…

I’m pining for a friend

You’ve been texting me and asking me questions about my life I like that But I’m opening up slower than I used to and I don’t always know how I feel about you The feelings I get when we talk scare me I read the book you wrote this week and I wonder if I’ve…

Praying to the Stars

I studied the stars in hopes to feel more connected to something I aim to possess the knowledge of the skies  To escape how alone I feel here  Maybe if there were something more than us, things would make more sense  The ways in which I live keeps me isolated unable to trust the people…

Conditional Love

Growing up, love always felt conditional  Love could always be taken away Like I was balancing on a beam that could collapse at any second I learned that to be loved by others I needed to not be myself I needed to be whatever made them happy What ever made them stay and take care…

I know nothing at all

I’m convinced I know nothing at all Circumstantially drifting closer to you My therapist taught me about “and” statements That two truths could coincide at the same time That you’re a good person who treats me well And that you don’t meet all my needs I’m so used to sacrificing myself to survive That sometimes…

Vacation from my mind

I get in my car and drive away But I can never escape my thoughts I’m exhausted laying in bed all day Scrolling through my phone Fleeing from myself The algorithms just feed into my self hate I look in the mirror at the clothes that I bought After one wear, I realize they can’t…

DNA

Maybe if I check out for a bit

I can come back around in a better mood

Silhouettes

I look towards silhouettes to tell me that I am special How do I know I have worth without it coming from someone else’s mouth? I crave what my parents never gave me I misinterpret admiration for love I mistake praise for care I seek what I always wanted But it’s not all that I…