Welcome My Existential Diary
My name is “B” and I was one of those kids who people called an “old soul”. That pretty much means that I went through a lot of shit at a young age and that I didn’t quite fit in with the other kids around me. Thankfully, I am an adult now and “surprise!” I still have a difficult time feeling like most people around me understand who I am. I feel too deeply, I see the world in poetry, and I wonder about the birth of the universe. What I have learned through age is that these things that make me feel different, don’t make me a bad person. Who knows, maybe there are more people like me out there who care to hear my thoughts and stories. Welcome to my existential diary.
Music Corner: I’ll be posting songs that I like and my interpretations of them.
Jumbled Thoughts: I’m going to post anything and everything that I feel like. I am a true content goblin at heart so anything from books I’ve read, movies I like, podcasts, and all of the random stuff that doesn’t necessarily fit in with the rest of the blog will go here.
Poems: I’ll post one of my poems. My poems are usually very moody, sad, and full the melodramas of my life.
Gratitude Journal: I’ll post what I’m grateful every week. I get so caught up in my mental illness and depression at times, that I think it’s important that I write out the good stuff to give me a more balanced view of my life. Feel free to leave in the comments what you’re grateful for that week 🙂 I always enjoy hearing from you all.
Latest from the Blog
I finally have the time to slow down Fight, flight, freeze, fawning my way through life I think I’ll rest for a while I didn’t know I’d grow this old My palm reader said that I’ll live a long time Maybe I should check in and show up for myself more I’ve treated my body…
Maybe I’ll feel like this forever
Some days I want to touch the part right under my eyes and pull back my skin To shed all the feelings that come to the surface and start fresh again I either feel numb or raw There is no in-between That’s why I hurt myself Or feel like I always need to be seen
To weep from my sadness To scream from my anger I wish I could let go without asking why I only felt justified in feeling When I could explain why I felt Intellectualizing my subconscious has left me pent up So much has gone unsaid Unresolved Not knowing how to open up in the moment…
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