I Disappear

I’ve been smoking again recently

More and more each day

The drugs make me disappear

And I love them for that

I know that it’s not healthy to love drugs the way I do

But goddamn it feels nice to feel some relief

I give myself whiplash from my moods shifting back and forth

At least being numb is a constant feeling

I know it can never last long

Escaping in this way

But when I’m deep down in it,

The euphoria makes me believe that it’s the only thing holding me together

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