This song has helped me feel a lot of release and acceptance with my struggles in mental health. It encapsulates a feeling of being self aware of your struggles but also overwhelmed by yourself and the moment.
Dig deep, can’t hide from the corners of my mind. i’m terrified of what’s inside – I used to think that I would go to therapy and that one day I would get “better”. After about 6 years of work, I now realize that self healing in an ongoing journey we take throughout life. No one ever becomes “healed”, just more prepared to handle what the world throws at them.
i’m breaking daily, but only me can save me – It can feel so frustrating to doing work in healing yourself, because it feels like we are our own biggest obstacle. It’s like, I know the things I would like to change about myself but it can be so damn hard to make the changes that get us to a more aligned place. Sometimes we are caught in self sabotage or our external factors keep us from being able to focus on ourselves like we would want to. If this is you right now, remember to be gentle to yourself and to look at your situation as if it was your friend’s circumstance and not yours; we tend to be nicer to others than we are to ourselves.
when there’s control i lose it, incredibly impulsive, so scared i’m going to do something stupid – This is the area where I feel like I am struggling most. I am an incredibly impulsive person; This has made my life exciting, but also has got me in bad situations as well. I do scare myself sometimes, like when I am depressed I tend to make more impulsive decisions hoping to make myself happy again. Something that has helped me become more mindful of my actions was downloading a mood tracking app. I track activities that I’ve done throughout my day and I get a more accurate view on how my different moods correlate to my actions. Tracking my moods and habits helps me to feel more in control of an aspect of myself that used to feel was more overwhelming.