It Takes a Lot to Know a Man – Damien Rice

I am bringing it back to another Damien Rice song that I’ve been listening to a lot lately. This song is from his 2014 album “My Favourite Faded Fantasy” where he recalls complex feelings of someone who he was deeply in love with.

“it takes a lot to give, to ask for help, to be yourself, to know and love what you live with.
it takes a lot to breathe, to touch, to feel, the slow reveal of what another body needs”
– For people who struggle with their mental health, it really does take so much effort to just function in everyday life, let alone allow someone new into that dynamic. Dating is such a vulnerable process. Slowly or quickly, we start to open up our chests more and more, leaving ourselves vulnerable for situations out of the ordinary. Our positive and negative coping skills start to show and another person is susceptible to our tornados and our blossoms. In normal situations at the grocery store or hanging out with co-workers, it makes sense to keep our barriers up. But dating is this weird bubble of experience where opening up is a part of the process. It takes a lot to know a man. It takes a lot to know a woman. There is this dance back and forth to make compromise and standing your ground that makes the whole experience extraordinary.

“what are you so afraid to lose? what is it you think is going to happen if you do?” – I think that these lines are great shadow prompts (a tool that awakens and educates you on a deep and personal level). Our fears can tell us a lot about our younger selves and about areas that we need to give ourselves extra compassion. We all struggle, we all are afraid of something, we all deserve to have people around us to can show us love in these vulnerabilities.

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