Margot and the Nuclear So and So’s is another one of my top favorite bands; I have been listening to their music for over 10 years now. The Indianapolis & later Chicago based band has had members come and go, totaling 16 members throughout the band’s timeline. This band is extremely underrated in my opinion. A lot of their songs revolve around sadness, drug use, and love. Sadly, the band is broken up at this point, but the singer/songwriter Richard Edwards is still releasing solo music which is just another evolution in his work after Margot.

This song is from their newest release of all of their demo recordings from over the years. I found that I aligned with the demo recording of this song more than the album version because the lyrics are more vulnerable and empowering.

“do what you like, you don’t have to be nice. just pour yourself a cup of coffee.” – This is a line that I have been repeating in my head over and over as I started dating again. I am a recovering people pleaser and I struggle with fitting into the moulds that people place before me. This lyric has been a sort of mantra for me to reassure me that I don’t need to put so much pressure on myself to be perfect in every situation. I can just do what feels right, and if I find that my interactions don’t align with my true self, I can wake up the next day, pour myself a cup of coffee and try again.

“I loved a girl who was so beautiful and she dressed her wounds in sackcloth and ashes” – The Biblical representation of dressing in sackcloth and ashes represents a public act of expressing sorrow and regret for one’s actions. I identify with the woman in this song, because I tend to carry the weight of my sadness with me. I am overly hard on myself to the point where it affects my relationships because when I am hurt, I push people away.

“when we kissed, it didn’t feel poisonous” – I love the awareness of Richard in this line. Although his lover has faults and is hurting him, he still recognizes that she isn’t purposely trying to hurt him. The love that they shared was pure and well intentioned.

“we’ve gotta live the best we know how to” – Again, another mantra of mine to remind me that no one is perfect and it’s only human to live the best we know how to. Humans interacting with other humans calls for nuances, imperfections, and living in the in-between of ideals. It’s sort of beautiful and terrifying like that.