Busy streets I have never seen before

Too afraid to walk alone

But I need the fresh air

Open up an app to try and find connection

The push and pull of craving affection but being too scared to accept it

Excitement from being flown out by my job

The one I always wanted

But I cry in my hotel room after my first day in the office

I don’t know how to be alone

This disruption to the cycles I grew tired of now make me crave them more than ever

Anything to feel the familiar

Anything to feel safe

I crave solitude but I feel so isolated

Will I be able to sit with the things I desire?

Do I even know what I desire?

The ping pong table in my mind

Makes it hard to sit with myself

The depression sinks in again

I watch people pass by on the sidewalk below

As I stare out my hotel window