I try to swallow my intrusive thoughts like a pill without water
They stick to my throat and coat my tongue with the taste of bitter chemicals
On repeat
On repeat
On repeat
The circuits in my head fire
Circular thinking
My frustration rises
My skin grows numb
Disassociating from what isn’t me
Hands on the wheel
Snap back to reality
I scare myself when I am not in control
Think about the day
My flare ups meet me at my job
Two streams of thought happen at the same time
“Make sure you speak the right one”
You are out of your body watching yourself talk
The strain to keep everything on track
Try to stay calm
Try to stay calm
Try to stay calm
I get through the day but wonder how long I can keep this up
I’m exhausted doing the most normal things
My Existential Diary 
…I get “exhausted doing the normal things” as well. A lot of time the day-to-day things everyone else seems to do without thinking, gets put aside knowing just how exhausted I’d get doing it, until the basic things of everyday life become mountains to overcome.
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I feel that. Wishing you the best in your journey.
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